Stop Drinking Out of the Dog Bowel

    Chris and I have been collecting a list of things we thought we would never say to our kids.  I don't recall my mother having to use any of these, but my memory could be faulty.  I am going to have to ask her sometime.

1. Stop licking the dog.
2. No, you can not use the toilet to see if your boat actually floats.
3. Don't even think about hitting your brother with the baseball bat!!! Especially down there!  It will not get you on Americas Funniest Home Videos.
4. I don't think the cat and the pet rats would be friends if we let them play together.
5. If there is poop on your shoe, I don't want to smell it.
6. Go ahead, try to give the cat a bath.
7. Why are there mud pies in my freezer?
8. Your underwear can not be used as a hat.
9. Stop drinking out of the dog bowel.
10. You can not ride to walmart on the roof of the car.

There are more, but that's it for now.

  I got home this morning a little earlier then usual.  In fact, the kids were all still in bed. I think that is a first.  I actually got to take a shower without little faces pressed against the shower door.  I'm a little worried about Cody though.  It doesn't matter that I lock the bathroom door.   He can open every lock in my house.  Of course, I do believe Lora's youngest son taught him. I just hope they don't become partners in crime.  The two of them would never get caught, they are sneaky and way to smart for my own good.  
    Anyway, I got out of the shower and got all the way downstairs looking forward to some quiet before waking up the kids.  Well, surprise!! All the kids were in the kitchen, koolaid on the floor, pancake batter dripping off the counter, overcooked sausage in the microwave and three smiling faces.  How in hell did they do all this while I was in the shower?  I know I wasn't in there that long.  I couldn't get mad, they obviously were proud of their accomplishment.  I knew I would regret telling them it would be nice, if just for once, they took care of their own breakfast.  I was thinking cereal or something...
    After finishing the breakfast of koolaid, raw pancakes, and burnt sausage, the kids went upstairs to get dressed.  Cody decided to pick  his own clothes instead of using the ones that his dad put out for him.  Got to love that kid.  He has his sisters sense of style. Red checkered shorts and a blue shirt with sponge bob on it.  Oh, and his green socks completed the outfit.  Cameron, on the other hand, is very conscious of color and pattern matching.  He spends more time picking out an outfit then Savannah does.  He already spends more time on his hair.  He tells me that he has to look nice because of his girlfriends.  Yup, plural.  Great...  
    Savannah came down stairs in jeans and a purple shirt...normal.  I miss her old sense of style though.  It is a style uniquely her own.   I liked the anticipation of wondering what colors or patterns she might put together this time.  But I guess fitting in is more important then uniqueness in the fifth grade. 
    Unfortunately for me, they were ready for school early.  Not a good thing around here.  Cody started chasing the dog,   Cameron started throwing the beanbag chair on top of Savannah and calling her a sister sandwich, and Savannah, after throwing Cameron and the beanbag off, proceeded to hit Cody in the jaw while aiming at  Cameron.  Once again, I think these kids know when I am tired. 
     Cody proceeds to kick Cameron in the "privates".  For some reason, the boys think this is really funny and are laughing uncontrollable.  Savannah is offended that she didn't hurt her brother more then she did and runs upstairs to pout.  Cody is my kid who, with his head buried in his DS, fell head first down eight steps landing on a concrete sidewalk...and after shaking himself off, said, "I'm OK." and proceeded to climb into the car.   Savannah had to point out that his jeans were ripped and blood was running down his chin.  But, try to come at him with a hairbrush, and you would think Freddy Kruegar was climbing out of the toilet.  I keep telling him to let me cut his hair, and he wouldn't have to deal with the knots, but he is adamant that he keep all his hair.  That is not a fight I feel like fighting.  Too many other battles that are more important. 
    Can't wait for it to be time to go.  Finally round up the kids.  Another problem.  I follow the kids out the door and buckle Cody in. Savannah is sitting on Cameron's lap, trying to get him to move into the back seat.  She won't budge, and neither will Cameron.  Have to threaten bodily harm....and that doesn't even work. So I move Aaron's booster seat to the back seat so they can both sit in the middle row.  Of course, now they are fighting on who can move to the back because to sit next to each other would be pure hell and the ultimate punishment.  Good...I think I found a threat that works.  I might have to handcuff them together every time they fight. 
    I hope they have a better day then they did morning...and I hope I can get some sleep.

Til next time,
Don't worry about walking in my shoes,
Just try a day thinking in my head.